Thursday, May 11, 2006

Eating Your Way Through A Hang Over - The Bodega Breakfast Sandwich

Being hung over at work is a terrible thing because it reinforces two unfortunate realities about your life: that you are no longer the drinking power house you used to be and that your “moving to New York / winning the lottery” scheme has to yet to pan out. There, is, however, one amazing thing about being an absolute mess the morning after and that is eating. Forget that big glass of water and enough with the aspirin, if you want a cure for a pounding headache, queasy stomach and dry mouth, then look no further than two eggs, crispy bacon, cheese and a freshly baked roll. That’s right ladies and gents, I am talking about the infamous bodega breakfast sandwich.

With so many bodegas in this city, it’s tough knowing which place has the best sandwich. I recommend getting drunk a few nights each week and then trying different establishments until you find a place to your liking. Once you find a place stick with it, because nothing is better than walking in the door and without saying a word, having the grill guy immediately start making your sandwich. You should get to a point where you don’t even have to tell them how you like your coffee. In fact, the only words you should speak should be rudimentary banter about the weather or what type of day it’s going to be.

Now the next part is tricky, because if you are still brazen enough to blow it out on a weeknight that means your job is probably at the shallow end of the power pool. Your boss probably knows you are hung over and will be looking to give you some guff about responsibility and your future with the company. So although there’s nothing more you’d like to do than open up iTunes, crank some jams and rip into you sandwich, you have to play it cool. This means the obligatory morning chatter and some fictitious story about how you had a terrible time falling asleep last night.

Finally it’s time. As you collapse into your desk chair, you can barely contain yourself as you pull back the tab on your coffee, tear apart the aluminum foil and take that first glorious bite. The eggs should be fluffy and perfectly folded into a square, while the crispy bacon and melted cheese should remind you that your young heart won’t be young forever. The roll should be slightly doughy, fresh and slightly warmed. Every bite should have an equal mix of egg, bacon, cheese and bread. Every bite should bring you one step closer to normalcy. Every bite should taste a little like heaven.

And before you know it, the sandwich is gone and so is your hang over. That’s right people, totally and absolutely gone, thus allowing you to start your long, eight-hour day. And if you don’t believe me, try it out tomorrow, because I promise you with the right breakfast sandwich your last night’s residuals don’t stand a chance.


At 9:39 AM, Blogger candcblogfactory said...

i miss those sandwiches. that's the fucked up thing about liking it raw, no hangover breakfast food. it burns.


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